Tending Grief with Tenderness
Navigating the Tricky Wilderness of Loss, Change and Challenges
So here you are…
standing in a doorway of grief and sorrow.
For many people, grief is about death, but truly grief comes in all shapes and sizes.
Your loss may be obvious to you, or it may be a gnawing feeling that haunts and niggles at you.
An unrelenting signal that something is off, lost, or… gone.
Either way, if you are hurting I want to offer you a safe place to re-group,
gather your strength and re-member yourself whole again.
Death, divorce, illness, betrayal, estrangement from a loved one, loss of a child, an empty nest, recovery from abuse; all of these circumstances (and so many others) can cause grief, bring you to your knees and shake you to your very core. Life’s experiences like the ones listed here (and all not mentioned) can challenge your very concept of who you are, what you can count on, and the very meaning of life itself.
I want you to know…
grief is one of the most natural emotions we experience as humans, and it needs time and your attention. Yet, in our modern, fast paced, technology-driven society, the spaces and places to heal our tenderness and our sorrow in effective ways is hard to find. Too often, we are only allowed a brief window to mourn before the routine pace of our lives picks back up again. When we are left to manage a field of sorrow that others have moved on from, we can end up feeling even more isolated. Having a safe place to grieve your loss is the path to claiming the joy, peace, and meaning that are waiting for you on the other side of your sorrow.
Too often, we are encouraged to distance, minimize, and deny our pain and sorrow to “move on.” But the process of grief doesn’t work this way. For loss and grief to be realized, grief needs to be witnessed, shared, accepted, honored, and metabolized. Left alone, it can go underground, get buried, and eventually manifest as unwanted symptoms or strategies. Mourning is also how your heart and psyche heal and learn how to move forward again. Having a skilled witness, who understands the wily terrain of grief can allow you to breathe and process the trauma of the unthinkable, the unspeakable, the things our minds are bargaining to deny.
I am here to create a safe container
for you to do the brave work of your grief
so you can heal and claim your hope again.
Here is a list of what grief is and What it is Not:
Grief is about more than just mourning a loss. It’s a way to recognize and make sense of how you have been changed because of it.
Grief is your soul calling the broken pieces of your heart back to you.
Grieving does not mean you forget; it means you put yourself back together differently. It is about honoring what you have lost so you can say “YES!” to the life that is waiting for you.
Grief is a process; Not a destination. It is not a thing you survive and get through or “over.” Your grief has a purpose. It is a soul language.
“
Grief is the downpour your soul
has been thirsting for.
Grief is actually the soul’s acknowledgment
of what we value.
When something stuck can be released through grief, we are freeing up a greater capacity to love.”
Sometimes grief is obvious and urgent, and sometimes it is an unrelenting ache that has companioned you for a lifetime.
Grief can be complicated. It doesn’t have to look like one thing or what our families and friends think it should be.
Grief can be anything or a combination of everything. It can be anger, railing, discombobulating, searching, immobilizing, yearning, despairing, and so much more.
Grief can be passed on through generations and can show up in many different forms of expressions such as depression, anxiety, or other manifestations of dis-ease. When grief travels through a family line like this, it is searching for a way to be heard and released. This how you and your ancestors can heal too.
Bottom line…
Grief is Big work
But it is also the truest and most powerful path
to forging and claiming your deepest
joy and Healing!
At its very root, grief is about love and attachment; it speaks to your sense of belonging and who you know yourself to be at your very identity.
When you give grief the proper space to unfold and express itself,
it can finally help you make sense out of your life beyond the loss you have endured and empower you to understand your very place in life because of it.
